Voluminous ribcage= voluminous lungs. EVERYONE knows that lungs are fucking sexy! The Freudian explanation for this is that a woman with large lungs can hold her breath better during you know what! MEN love that.
Cinch in your waist girl. Hold that breath. Show them how much you want it. Scientific studies show that women with bigger appetites and greater energy reserves are more attractive (see Marilyn Monroe), and we ain't arguing with that!!
The infamous crotch bulge can be a little intimidating for the average guy. But find one who's totally secure in his sexuality and you'll start seeing all your peaks and trophs in a new fabulous light!
Shoulder fat does NOT deserve the cold shoulder!! Heat things up with a kooky cut-off piece and accentuate those bulbous growths. Sooooooo good to grab onto during some tricky situations (positions...)!
Is your bosom excessively oblong? But everyone needs a bosom for a pillow galz! don't forget it!
A waist clinchy belt NEVER fails in fishing attention to your pillowy bosoms!! It's the stuff of dreams honeys! HMMMMMM!
Asymmetrical hairstyles really complement an eviable buddha belly - getting the balance between the symmetrical spread of loveable handfuls and your funky hair-do guarantees that you will get your ZEN on baby!Be sure to put yourself in BUBBLE butt situations like climbing stairs, or picking things up off the floor. You will look hard working and delectable at the same time!
DO THIS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE - Karma Sutra baby!
If you obtained your sumptuous pillow belley/bosom from drinking too much wine - DRINK AWAY! Men Luuuuuuurve a Good Time GAL!!
Who said you had to have stick thin calves to model umbrellas?!? NOT US!
Dress them up in kitsch knee-highs a la BRITNAAAAY (before K-Fed and the Taco Bells...eurgh traitor - WE eat because we LOVE it NOT because we're insecure)
If you can't take a man down with your willowy waist, you're going to have to take out the big guns. Carrying around a standard ornamental laquer quaint painted kitchen spoon shows you know your way 'round the kitchen and you ain't playing no games. Show him who's boss and distract from your curves in the wrong places by holding a miscellaneous out of place object on your person at all times!
You'll be getting THE time in NO time in miscellaneous places yourself! You she-dog!
Friction ulcers between the thighs can happen to the best of us. Don't let it phase you. Do you think Cleopatra let that shit get her down? Come on! No! Do your thing!
It is pretty much common knowledge this point that men get it on with those skinny bitches if they want an ONS, but if they're at the stage of looking for their 'the one' they're more receptive to that timeless mountainous relief. They like bulbous, maternal, caring, interesting girls. Don't be ashamed or your sexuality. Our breasts are what make us special.
Good night,
and good luck.
Horny Kornflake and Lounging Duchess
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